in between

when I was a little girl
I was taught
try your hardest to avoid
any difficult knot.
Tie your ties loosely.
So loosely they hang to the sides
stay as close to the shore as you can
to avoid swimming against tides.
But I have found that my stomach needs
to feel the thrill of the fall
and that my pupils never dilate
when I'm in between large and small.
When I am the middle
When I am in between
all my thumbs will do is twiddle.
When I am in the middle
I feel too little.
When I am in the middle
the mountains never move
when I am in the middle
there is nothing to prove.
They'll teach you-
There is an up
and there's a down
but
try to find the middle.
And in between lost and found
that's where you find the middle ground.
But I need to either be
high or low
I don't want to
the middle go.
I can't have in between
I must have yes or no.